After centuries of ingrained corruption deriving from confused notions of public and private property in the largest South American country, a small group of Brazilian politicians decided that gradual reform is not enough and joined forces to form a radical group against traditional Brazilian public practices.
The movement raised deep concerns in the American Embassy in Brasilia, as well as in the UN quarters and the OAS offices around the large continent, whose occupation started dozens of thousands of years ago without any notice of a movement of such nature so far.
The “politicos”, as they are called, similar to American politicians but with a stronger sense of identity, who share not only strong corrupt values but also mansions in private beaches and common lovers in the various states of these federative southern country, decided simply that enough is enough.
“One day I looked at my paycheck and realized: wow, this is way more than I need. Why the hack I am stealing?”, a politico explained in a press conference opened to the foreign press.
Foreign leaders were not convinced, though. The German ambassador, according to anonymous sources, said “We’ve been telling these primitive idiots that they have to obey minimum standards of honesty for 100 years, and now, out of the blue, they just got it? I think there is something fishy going on.”
The group states that they would never ever steal, betray voters, favor friends, acquaintances, out-of-wedlock children and business partners in public bids, lie to their wives about their lovers and vice-versa or get candy from grocery stores without proper paying anymore. “We’ve just stopped cold, it’s as simple as that.”
There are signs that Mexican and Peruvian politicos might join the group, which insists it is not financed by foreign groups, dominated by an ideological agenda or influenced by guerilla groups still present in parts of the continent. The spread of the movement throughout the region might create uncertainty in the business and legal community, according to analysts with Lehman Brothers.
“After the radical break”, a leader of the group said, a Senator for one of the former Brazilian northern territories, “we plan to hire real analysts for our congressional offices, start thinking about present national problems and maybe even propose laws and regulations that could ameliorate the hardships our people face in their daily lives and improve the chances of the new generations to get a better education, a better economic situation and, ultimately, a better life.”
Crônicas da Sala de Aula 